The journey so far has not been
without its fair share of adventure. Like being aboard a roller coaster there
have been moments of pure excitement, slow moments, times of fear, and also
periods of exhilarating joy.
Being a typical south London gal, with roots
deeply entrenched in a Ghanaian family, navigating through marriage with my
born and bred Nigerian (straight out of Ekiti state) husband was always
going to be an interesting albeit beautiful feat.
When two people from identical
backgrounds make the decision to be one because of their love for each other,
their clash of personalities,
personal goals and ideological beliefs can make
the welding process tricky at times. The stark difference in culture of hubby
and I, despite our love and our friendship, has at times been too obvious to
ignore. When you throw a seven year age gap into the mix, you can quickly begin
to see the care involved in handling our ‘relations’.
As we are about to hit a
significant milestone, I can't help but reflect on how much we have increased
in wisdom both jointly and as individuals. The communication, the compromises,
the consideration for each other and the common vision we are building towards
remind me of what I learned as a masters student of International Communication
and Diplomacy.
If there is one thing I
remember, it's that defining the term "diplomacy" in the context of
international relations is not straight forward, simply because there are many
ways to conduct diplomacy. But for the sake of simplicity let's define it as "the art of conducting
negotiations, forming alliances, and reading agreements". These negotiations, alliances and agreements
are performed by states, and they are done primarily for the economic progress
and prosperity, peace, and ease of geographic mobility of the countries
involved, their governments and their citizens. It's for this reason that you
have alliances such as the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation (NATO), the
Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS), and the European Union (EU).
If you take the individuals
within a marriage to be like member states, one can easily deduce that building
and progressing through the union is like conducting diplomacy. Firstly, the
two parties, must be in agreement to make the marriage work; you must be in
agreement of your beliefs, the fruits you would like your marriage to bear and
the common goals you both want to work towards.
Secondly, the two of you must
form an alliance. That is to say that you should make plans together, spend
time together and stay united against outside forces (in whatever form they may
come).
Thirdly, you must be willing to
conduct negotiations: you just have to put the needs of the marriage before
your own and consider your spouse in all your decision making. You should
communicate and sort through your issues as amicably as possible (rather than
dropping destructive bombs all over your marriage!), and you must make peace a priority in
your home.
It goes without saying, that if
diplomacy is done right, economic success, prosperity. peace, and upwards
mobility (financial, spiritual, social and other forms) are the outcome!

Oh, congratulations in advance on six months of marriage - how exciting! I'd imagine there's a lot of truth in your point about negotiating, and possibly compromising too. Have a lovely week!
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Hi Gabrielle. Thank you so much. Have a lovely week yourself!
DeleteCongratulations once again on your union and happy six months. Cheers to more successful years to come. Thanks for the educations here. I'm not married, but I guess this sure goes for any relationship where love is in play. Great post always. Keep em coming, sis.
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You're so right. It takes more than love to have a successful marriage - both partners have to work on it, stay aligned on the same path and compromise. Congratulations on 6 months!
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