Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Watching Ghanaian Celebrities Flirt and Showing You How to Reframe a Question

Happy Easter and blessings to all of you!

Most people would know that I am a big fan of YouTube. If you don't, you may want to read my about page! My interest in YouTube covers everything from lifestyle to fashion, to beauty, cooking, conspiracy theories and Christian teachings. 

I have recently been catching up on a popular Ghanaian cooking competition show on YouTube called Dining with Cooks & Braggarts which is hosted by the beautiful Ghanaian-Nigerian actress Yvonne Okoro (my girl crush!). Two celebrities are pitted against each other to prepare some of our fave Ghanaian dishes, and whilst they cook, she interviews them. In the latest episode, we see the Ghanaian politician, Kennedy Agyapong compete with his son, Ken Takyi Agyapong.
There is a part where Yvonne flicks her hair flirtatiously and asks Ken (the son), 'but I don't go out too, so how am I going to meet people like you?...So have you got any Ghanaian girl here?'
Then Ken shuffles uneasily from foot to foot (he already has a boo and two kids) and responds, 'n-n-no'. Poor Ken! But come to think of it, I am not sure why he didn't just say he had already been snapped up and kept the conversation moving, because they had already discussed that, but hey!

If you want to see the part I am speaking about, watch from 5.35, but if you want to see her batter her eyelashes and giggle throughout the entire show, then just watch the whole thing!



Well, next time Ken, you needn't get so hot under the collar because I am going to show you how to reframe a question you are uncomfortable with.

Before we do that, reframing in communications is a way of answering a question from a perspective of your choosing. It's a tool psychologist and life coaches introduce to their clients as a way to get them to shift their focus from negative to positive. It's a fantastic linguistic weapon to have in your arsenal and I am going to show you how to use it!

Firstly, when reframing, there are three key things you have to think about:
a) what are you prepared to share?
b) in what direction are you comfortable with the conversation going?
c) how would you like to be perceived by others?

Politicians and celebs do it all the time, and it can help you when faced with an inappropriate question, when trying to survive a discussion with strangers, or if a conversation with your manager is going south. 

An example is your boss asking you, 'did you complete the report I asked you to last week?' and instead of responding ‘no’,  you could say, 'last week, I met with three of our stakeholders,  completed a project and trained some of our interns.' 

You have shifted the focus and switched the conversation to positive. I am not saying that your manager might not still be pissed but at least you don't look totally useless, right? 

So what are the benefits of reframing a question?

a) It helps you to portray yourself, or a situation how you want people to see it

b) It politely creates boundaries for someone asking inappropriate questions and steers them the other way
c) It buys you thinking time, in case the question is re-asked
d) It ruffles your interviewer’s feathers, especially if they had a game plan! 🙂

There you have it! Now I agree that in real life exchanges, reframing may not always go so smoothly, but I really am tired of people thinking they can be inappropriate in conversation, as I am sure you may be. So I've written this post to put you in the best possible position when the situation arises! 

Will you watch Dining with Cooks & Braggarts, and what are your thoughts on reframing? I am keen to know your thoughts!






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9 comments

  1. Oh, I love the concept of reframing questions. I think I used to do this in a not so pleasant way by replying the question with a question if it's a conversation with friends but apparently some people consider it rude so I've been cutting back on it. I'd probably be trying this out.
    A Literary Conversation | MARCH
    Laitanbee.com

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    1. Ha! It looks like you already have reframing nailed!Some people deserve the sarcasm sometimes!

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  2. You are amazing this is so so interesting and also so important, how many times i am confrontent with questions that make me unconfortable and these tips are super helpful! Have u ever think about becaming a comunication coach? i would you would do great!

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    1. Hi Ana. I recently featured you on my Instagram but I couldn't tag you because I couldn't find you! Anyway thank you for reading. I am glad you now feel empowered to deal with uncomfortable questions.

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  3. Yvone is totally feeling Mr Agyapong's son. See how she's rolling her eyes and flippin her hair like something. Lol!! She surely made the guy uncomfortable. Anywhos thanks for the guidelines sis. I can so relate and sometimes I flip the questions around. Ha!! Recently a guy who's eyeing your sis asked if I liked him and I answered, well I don't hate you. LOL!! Got me out of the water. Ha!!

    https://www.missymayification.co.uk

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    1. She really was feeling him. Ha! You told him that? Lol! That's amazing. Why don't you give the guy a chance na? (Here I go with my inappropriate questioning!)

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  4. I have just read this and the example about the boss made me laugh. I have totally not thought of using this skill. My face would answer the question when my voice knows to be quiet. I will be practicing this skills to keep me out of awkward situations.

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Hey! They say communication is a two-way street. I would really appreciate you leaving a comment!

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